Exposed Emptiness, Empty Promises, and a Vastly More Empty Creature, and some Rhyme.



I am in my opinion what I like to call an “information whore”, and as such I’ve picked up just enough_____________ to be dangerous, and unless you planned to fill in the blank with something like “Littlest Pet Shop Collections”, chances are I’ve got somewhat of at least a familiarity with it. One of “those” subjects is tort laws, defamation, and libel. Reason being when a person as a person gives their heart and soul, copious amounts of time, passion, vulnerability, and all the love they have in the world, to another, and not only do they not have such love even half halfheartedly reciprocated, although they were the one early on who was the hesitant party. Oh hell with it, after I loved a charlatan, pathologically lying, serial cheating, covert, predacious malignant (sadistic sociopath) narcissist, after her causing me to become addicted to the promise of a future she never intended, it tends to piss a person off, and quite abjectly at that. So, I’m exposing her to the world, and part of doing so was to check the legal stipulations, and ramifications if any, as I have made it my life’s work at this point to see this demon in human skin exposed on a grand scale, and to see her name, married or otherwise, biblically become a “by word”, one that when said, it’s the same conscious mindset of hearing the names Charles Manson, Ted Bundy, Ed Gein, or Menendez, because that’s the potential I see in someone as void of conscience as this vile entity. So, in case any of you are wondering, if what one is sharing, writing, speaking, recording, providing it is true, and this means it has been documented, witnessed with affidavit if it becomes necessary, and is part of your personal experience,  not outside looking in, there are no laws protecting psychologically abusive people, and that makes me smile, because I want to add to my above list, one from McDermott, OH, whom I’ve just given you the short version of her disorder, and now that she got someone to jump on the spousal bait (her kids and fallacious sob stories), her name has just gone from Michelle Dawn Howard, to Michelle Dawn Howard Deardoff, and poor Raymond Michael, he ain’t got a clue what he’s gotten himself into, and I’ve tried to tell him since I figured out who her current victim is, but frankly at this point, and him not willing to even let me know how far removed her and I were before they started (of course we hadn’t concluded obviously), but his reluctance has “almost” precluded me from wanting to help him through what is inevitable in every sociopath relationship. I  would actually assist my worst enemy out of the FOG (Fear-Obligation-Guilt) that comes from this sinister, and intentionally evil, sadistic, insidious abuse.

Sociopaths future fake, and it is horrible the way she puts her 3 children in front of her, and actually gives them little scripts, lines to say to her spousal targets, as she had her 7 year old tell me as they were dropping me off at the airport just about 24 hours after meeting them for the first time, say very loudly from the back of her then Silver Chrysler Sto and Go Mini-Van, “Thanks for being our dad!” but now she’s got a 2014 GMC Terrain, both of which were given her by her dad, as that is the essence of the parasitic lifestyle of every sociopath, and it’s so funny, she honestly believes far as I can tell, that it’s her parents responsibility, just like she lives in one of their homes on their stretch of property, and puts on airs, as if to say she’s so responsible, and now apparently, they’re both living there for free, and I know Raymond has been working at the rehab where she wants to work, and will unless I can get the Counseling Center in Portsmouth OH to require some type of vetting, as Michelle only wants access to the minds of admittedly hurting and needful people, under the guise  of drug ad alcohol counselor for the same reason she wanted access to my body, soul, and mind, to see if she could “win.” Would you believe the very next morning, she had her 4 year old say “I love you.” to me, knowing how soft hearted I am, she in fact fostered the dad/kid dynamic almost constantly, all the way up to the day she suddenly discarded me. It’s important for you to know I gave her every opportunity to stop, if she was playing a game, I even went as far as to say exactly those words, but she responded with yet more superlative future faking promises, and pledging her love to me only, and said at least 100 times, God Himself created us specifically for each other. Then she put her game in overdrive, and somehow managed to unsay everything she ever promised. This woman is more than toxic. Everything, every aspect, every person, every event, and situation are part of what she considers to be a game, her life. Last I knew she is still using herself, so again, traits of sociopathy, very much incredibly hypocritical, and as I say, I’m  the consummate nice guy, very empathetic, and supportive, always looking for the best in people, and happy to forgive, I believe it was the end of the first week I introduced my mantra for our time together, when for the first of at least a thousand times I said to her; “I’m your biggest fan!” I supported and encouraged her in anything she set as a goal, and when she would talk shit about everyone she knows, I’d listen for awhile, then offer her an opportunity to maybe pray for them, or I’d pray for them myself. Also specific to those cluster b types, the more respect she claims to have for a person, the more heinous the gossip. In any case, she did tell me very often just how “nice a guy” I am, in fact I’m like the picture boy for the sociopaths preferred meal. In any case, after she decided to fill my head with a year and a half worth of superlative empty promises, making herself look like a half wit IMO, and really bringing her psychopathy, bipolar, and the schizo-effective aspect all rolled into be again, IMO a malignant narcissist.

In the midst of all this, she managed to project all her actual self loathing, and  disdain for what she knows she is, just an empty husk, with an abject need for 24/7 attention, best filled by deviant sexual practices, as the 3 children she has, by her own documented volition coupled with the sentence “Who cares who their father is?” 2 of the 3 were conceived during group trysts, with her husband completely in the dark, but also offered by her, she did make sure to sleep with him within a reasonable amount of time, and never let on they weren’t his seed, So, now you  see why I refer to this ilk as I do, empty husk filled with excrement, until she has like me to mirror, and for the first time in my life, I know HATE, and if that’s what u were after, please excuse me, as I address the abusive C U Next Tuesday directly for a moment, Even if I hated with all I had to hate, you construct of evil and sarcastic malevolence, I’d still be able to consume it all, and with no ill effect, as the love I have, the same love I poured on you consistently, the same love you mocked, and tried to play, not realizing the real deal is far to flexible, and  pliable for one such as yourself  to have any fleeting hope of disfiguring, or improperly using it, as though there were any power or force greater than the reality of unfeigned without condition affection, commitment and transparency. You, you silly girl, rather than embrace this reality for yourself, you  thought you could what, sell it? Pimp it out? Use it to get Oxy, or percs?  TELL ME, What made you believe, you could toy with the empath, after all you’d already done. though u’ve seen to it, this abject love has shrunk down, and it may seem significantly so, but again you don’t understand the nature of the gift, and you are certainly a stranger to the giver, however, I will show you. This seemingly shrunken down mass you apparently got giddy at the thought you’d caused it to diminish some, is actually still more powerful than a million fat man and little boys, because just as those 2 forever changed the landscape of Hiroshima, love does likewise, but on a much greater scale, and it is the most contagious sickness known to man, and at the same time has been categorically proven to heal the most hopeless of cases, This mass, you threw back in my face, not seeing the value, after you shit on it, and spit on it, just to see what it would take to change it’s shape, but to no avail, and as you can tell, it’s lost the drabbest hue, seen when you so foolishly threw it back at me, but as I said that day, when you swore, mine was the heart you wanted for all time, and since you were a little girl, you said, you dreamed you’d one day be mine. Funny thing that, as my commitment never changed, in fact, I was the one who told you very, very early on, if it’s the warm fuzzies you feel, that to you make this real, my dear you ain’t seen nothing yet. So, imagine my surprise, to find out you were spewing lies, not spewing so much as being an abject lie yourself, as that’s what it is when you portray someone else. Did you think I didn’t know what you were doing or  where you’d go, after I’d again reiterate my pledge of love and loyalty to  you, but you were never true, not just to me, as it’s easy to see, it’s the same disease with this new one too.   but you didn’t know, any tiniest little bit of  genuine unconditional love, is more powerful than all the hate in the world, so you could never muster up enough, hate, and now I feel I must also categorically for the record state, you can NEVER best me, never beat me, you have no chance, because you don’t have the ability to kill the love I have inside, God help me, I still even have love for you. I don’t want to give anymore away just yet, and if anyone reading this knows this woman, you can let her know from me, it’s just as it was, as soon as she’s ready to come clean, I will make everything unilaterally cease, and cease to exist, but I think the last year and a half of patiently waiting while you dragged my name through the mud, and positioned yourself as victim has taught me you’ll never come clean to me one on one, as I requested. Now I’m simply doing what i said I would, and as you also know, I’ve kept all but one promise, your end tables, and they too would have been done correctly, had you treated me at the very least, with  the same dignity and respect as every human being should be able to expect.

To be continued, or not to be continued, that is the question, and only one severely damaged middle aged woman from the Midwest, can answer that question for us.

thoughts of yesteryearvia Daily Prompt: Exposed

Published by: Paul In-Ca

I'm late getting started, but as they say, better late than never. If you decide to follow this blog, you are choosing to follow the uber introspective narrative of a very transparent INFJ empath, so it's highly likely you will either love me to death, or hate me with a loathing you can't even describe. There's not much I can think of I wouldn't be able work with, work through, or work around, except for one, and I simply refuse to do any level of interpersonal relationship which doesn't share the same view on this, as it is the impetus from which all growth in relationship stems from. I am of course referring to communication, good, bad, ugly, happy, hateful, joyful, angry, sleepy, high, pissed off, sad, manic, hungry, exhausted, all communication is good, providing it is honest, and transparent, and anything less, I just don't have time for, and will very clearly and concisely after picking up on those who feign just to gain my acceptance, especially after the future faking malignant narcissist I self imposed sentence of myself to for 22 months, so I've no time or patience or desire to deal with anyone who isn't at least desirous to learn how to effectively communicate.

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